Well, life sure has a way of throwing challenges my way (and I’m sure yours too) when I least expect it! Recently it’s been about the 3 words in my title.
When something that I need to deal with comes forth from my subconscious mind I am a firm believer (through personal experience and education) that it has come forth because my subconscious has decided it is safe for me to do so. An important side point – your subconscious is the protective part of your mind. That is one of its main jobs. It won’t allow you to know or remember stuff on the conscious level unless it feels it is safe for you to do so. That is a simplified explanation but enough for the topic of this blog.
Knowing though that my subconscious mind has determined that I am now ready and able to safely deal with an issue, does not make it any easier to work through. Especially for someone like me that has difficulty with feeling a lack of control and thus also have a difficulty with adapting, adjusting and accepting to what comes forth in life or from my subconscious.
Part of my process for doing this work includes looking up the actual definitions of words. I know the definitions of the above words (and many other words that have come up as part of my personal growth work), but for some reason looking them up and reading those definitions seems to give me a visual and concrete place to start with doing the work.
I don’t do this with every word that comes up around change, but I do, do it frequently. After a week now of some heavy emotion going on, I realized that I haven’t yet looked up those 3 words. I have processed a lot and moved into doing what those words mean around this latest work but I think, for me, I do need to look them up now.
I also tend to focus on the part of the definition that I know pertains to the work I am doing (I trust my instinct, my gut here). I also find that it is often the synonyms that help me the most.
So, to start:
become adjusted to new conditions.
synonyms: adjust to, acclimatize oneself to, acclimate to, accommodate oneself to, attune to, conform to, habituate oneself to, become habituated to, get used to, orient oneself in, reconcile oneself to, come to terms with, get one’s bearings in, find one’s feet in, acculturate to, assimilate to, blend in to, fit in to
*several of those synonyms strike a cord with me, and I will use them to do this work. Notice that adjust is one of the synonyms for adapt.
alter (or move [something]) slightly in order to achieve the desired fit, appearance, or result.
synonyms: modify, alter, regulate, tune, fine-tune, calibrate, balance; adapt, arrange, rearrange, change, rejig, rework, revamp, remodel, reshape, convert, tailor, improve, enhance, customize; repair, fix, correct, rectify, overhaul, put right; tweak.
*quite similar to adapt but enough differences to give me more information (notice that adapt is one of the synonyms for adjust). I’m a woman who is all for more information!
believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct.
synonyms: believe, regard as true, give credence to, credit, trust; swallow, recognized, acknowledged, established, traditional, orthodox, sanctioned; usual, customary, habitual, common, current, normal, general, prevailing, accustomed, familiar, wonted, popular, well established, expected, routine, standard, stock
*again quite a few of these synonyms resonate with me. Also of note for me is the use of the word valid in the bolded text. For me valid doesn’t mean that you agree with something only that you can see/accept the validity of it.
My point with this blog is to a) help myself with where I at in some personal work. b) show my readers some of that real me so you know you are not alone if you are struggling with something, and c) to hopefully help someone in whatever way is right for them to receive help right now.
Being able to adapt, adjust and accept changes in life is something we all have to do. Doing so with grace and ease is my goal. Certainly not without feeling, or effort, but with grace as well. I’ve come a long way towards that and I have to make sure to recognize and give myself credit for that growth while continuing to grow. Please make sure that you do the same with/for yourself when you take steps, however small, towards personal growth. It’s not easy, but then as cliche as it sounds, nothing worth having ever is. 🙂
I also have become more aware at a faster speed each time people or situations trigger me into that hackles raised reaction. Sometimes that works better than others, but each time I do recognize it that increases my ability to adapt, adjust and accept the next similar situation that arises even quicker and with more grace and ease.
Being able to adapt, adjust and accept has another unexpected affect of enabling me to better speak up for myself and express my feelings or opinions in more productive and constructive ways.
Growth – so challenging, so worth it.
Have a great day!