So I last wrote this blog about embracing your dark side and I guess my dark side was listening because it came out to play and poke at me in the last week or so. Of course, what it looked like when my dark side poked me, was fear!
Some fears about success vs failure and what both of those look like to me came forth. Also included were fears about finances. I’m not in a bad place financially (thank the Gods & Goddesses), but so much of my belief system around success & failure is connected to money. There is a whole lot more tied into the fears that came forth, I don’t need to go into all the details in this blog.
You may be wondering what I am doing or did do about these fears. Well, I reached out to a mentor of mine as I know they have gone through some of what I fear and come out the other side happier, more balanced and have embraced and therefore changed their perspective on their similar fears.
My mentor and I talked briefly on the phone as to what I had reached out to them for, and then they sent me some homework to do around the issue(s). I did some introspection on 1) My beliefs around money. 2) My current relationship with money. 3) What are my needs, and what are my desires? 4) What are my fears? 5) What would a loving and empowered relationship with money look like?
Then I did more introspection around my work story. What is the valuable offering I am creating? And the big one for me – What would my work look like if I acted like I am and have enough? About a week later my mentor and I met on Skype for a video call and had a great discussion about my answers to those questions and anything else that popped up.
3 key things and one conformation came out of the call. It was also apparent that more work was necessary but if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last couple of years it’s that this work (by that I mean personal growth) is seldom quick and easy, so that is not a fear for me.
So, the 3 key things: 1) Learning how to receive (and/or allow) money (and other things) into my life. I am very independent. I’m sure my closest friends can tell you how difficult it is for me to ask for help, or even to accept it when it’s offered without me asking. I’m working on that too. 🙂 In our discussion we talked about the difference between getting/making money and receiving/allowing it with an open heart. 2) My beliefs around success and failure. I’m going to be doing a deeper delving into where they came from, how true or not each one is for me – are any of them really true? And changing my perspective around them. What can I think/believe instead? Since I’ve done a lot of work on changing my perspective about a lot of my beliefs I know how to go about this. 3) Separating my personal value from my business success. I am NOT my business. I am worthy and successful just by being here as me. With my light AND my dark side.
The one conformation: You may have read my blog about my new program that I’m developing and it became very apparent in my Skype call with my mentor that this program is exactly right for me to be doing. I light up (they said) when I talk about it. I come from a place of personal experience with emotional eating, so I absolutely can relate to someone trying to or wanting to deal with it. I know what it takes to make the changes on the deepest subconscious level in order to become free. I know that it is not an easy or quick fix, that it is difficult and scary to face the issues and pain that come from emotional eating. My program will address the one issue that no diet in the world does – emotional eating and how to break free!
So here’s a couple of inspirational quotes that I hope resonate with you, as they do me. Ok, more than a couple 😉
Face Everything And Rise! Isn’t fear glorious? lol
Walking along the fear path is the surest way to the most worthwhile lessons and personal growth we can have, in my opinion.
An analogy that is very helpful in dealing with fear, anxiety or strong emotion at their height is the Wave Analogy. When you feel fear, or anxiety or experience other strong (maybe scary) emotions, picture yourself on a beach, feet bare, toes at the edge of the water and as the waves come in acknowledge that fear, anxiety or emotion. Don’t do anything with it. Just acknowledge it “oh hey, I’m feeling fear about X right now”. Then watch as the wave recedes, as it always does, and let it take away the fear, anxiety or emotion. The wave comes in and you acknowledge the fear, the wave recedes and takes the fear with it because you have acknowledged it and accepted it, knowing you don’t need to do anything with it. This takes practice and focus, like any new technique. Don’t imagine one wave coming and going and then it should all be gone. Sometimes it might take only a couple of minutes of imagining those waves before the fear, anxiety or emotion dissipates, other times it might take 20 minutes. Keep practicing, keep focusing. Then you can do the real and deep work necessary to change and grow.
Everything you want is on the other side of fear.