Adapt, Adjust, Accept!

Well, life sure has a way of throwing challenges my way (and I’m sure yours too) when I least expect it! Recently it’s been about the 3 words in my title.

When something that I need to deal with comes forth from my subconscious mind I am a firm believer (through personal experience and education) that it has come forth because my subconscious has decided it is safe for me to do so. An important side point – your subconscious is the protective part of your mind. That is one of its main jobs. It won’t allow you to know or remember stuff on the conscious level unless it feels it is safe for you to do so. That is a simplified explanation but enough for the topic of this blog.

Knowing though that my subconscious mind has determined that I am now ready and able to safely deal with an issue, does not make it any easier to work through. Especially for someone like me that has difficulty with feeling a lack of control and thus also have a difficulty with adapting, adjusting and accepting to what comes forth in life or from my subconscious.

Part of my process for doing this work includes looking up the actual definitions of words. I know the definitions of the above words (and many other words that have come up as part of my personal growth work), but for some reason looking them up and reading those definitions seems to give me a visual and concrete place to start with doing the work.

I don’t do this with every word that comes up around change, but I do, do it frequently. After a week now of some heavy emotion going on, I realized that I haven’t yet looked up those 3 words. I have processed a lot and moved into doing what those words mean around this latest work but I think, for me, I do need to look them up now.

I also tend to focus on the part of the definition that I know pertains to the work I am doing (I trust my instinct, my gut here). I also find that it is often the synonyms that help me the most.

So, to start:

a·dapt
əˈdapt/Submit
verb

become adjusted to new conditions.
synonyms: adjust to, acclimatize oneself to, acclimate to, accommodate oneself to, attune to, conform to, habituate oneself to, become habituated to, get used to, orient oneself in, reconcile oneself to, come to terms with, get one’s bearings in, find one’s feet in, acculturate to, assimilate to, blend in to, fit in to

*several of those synonyms strike a cord with me, and I will use them to do this work. Notice that adjust is one of the synonyms for adapt.

ad·just
əˈjəst/Submit
verb

alter (or move [something]) slightly in order to achieve the desired fit, appearance, or result.
synonyms: modify, alter, regulate, tune, fine-tune, calibrate, balance; adapt, arrange, rearrange, change, rejig, rework, revamp, remodel, reshape, convert, tailor, improve, enhance, customize; repair, fix, correct, rectify, overhaul, put right; tweak.

*quite similar to adapt but enough differences to give me more information (notice that adapt is one of the synonyms for adjust). I’m a woman who is all for more information!

ac·cept
əkˈsept/
verb
2.
believe or come to recognize (an opinion, explanation, etc.) as valid or correct.
synonyms: believe, regard as true, give credence to, credit, trust; swallow, recognized, acknowledged, established, traditional, orthodox, sanctioned; usual, customary, habitual, common, current, normal, general, prevailing, accustomed, familiar, wonted, popular, well established, expected, routine, standard, stock

*again quite a few of these synonyms resonate with me. Also of note for me is the use of the word valid in the bolded text. For me valid doesn’t mean that you agree with something only that you can see/accept the validity of it.

My point with this blog is to a) help myself with where I at in some personal work. b) show my readers some of that real me so you know you are not alone if you are struggling with something, and c) to hopefully help someone in whatever way is right for them to receive help right now.

Being able to adapt, adjust and accept changes in life is something we all have to do. Doing so with grace and ease is my goal. Certainly not without feeling, or effort, but with grace as well. I’ve come a long way towards that and I have to make sure to recognize and give myself credit for that growth while continuing to grow. Please make sure that you do the same with/for yourself when you take steps, however small, towards personal growth. It’s not easy, but then as cliche as it sounds, nothing worth having ever is. 🙂

I also have become more aware at a faster speed each time people or situations trigger me into that hackles raised reaction. Sometimes that works better than others, but each time I do recognize it that increases my ability to adapt, adjust and accept the next similar situation that arises even quicker and with more grace and ease.

Being able to adapt, adjust and accept has another unexpected affect of enabling me to better speak up for myself and express my feelings or opinions in more productive and constructive ways.

Growth – so challenging, so worth it.

Have a great day!

 

 

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Getting personal…

So I’ve made a commitment to bringing my personal story to my blog but I must admit I’m struggling with where to start.

In a discussion I was having with my Naturopath about this, I mentioned that I am actually way more of a private person than I thought I was. Yet sharing my personal growth is the right thing to do. I know in my heart that this is a good thing, for me and for my readers.

Humans are story tellers. Before the written word stories of our history, our families, our experiences were verbally told and passed down from person to person. People want to know how others do things, how they handle life, how they grow and change with all that life throws at us. I want to be a story teller! It is part of my most basic nature to want to help others, and what better way to do so than to share my personal experiences?

If you look at the kinds of things you read, watch (on tv etc) or see happening around you, don’t you learn the most from the things that happen to people you know and to yourself? Don’t you want to hear the true stories of others?

Going back to me finding this hard to do, it is not just about sharing some deep parts of me, it actually is more about not knowing where to start. You might say “Well Valerie, just start at the beginning!” Yet where is the beginning? I’ve been working on personal growth intensely for the last 2-3 years, since I moved to Vancouver, BC; but I have also done a lot of growth in the 4-5 years beforehand too. So where do I start? I am even contemplating working backwards, but I’m not sold on that. I’d like to be able to show all of you how one step has led to the next.

Let’s get started! I did post an “about me” as one of my first blogs that tells how I got to where I became an R.H.N. (Registered Holistic Nutritionist), so I’m going to start there again. I’ve had my issues with food and weight and emotional eating and have been seeking solutions all my adult life. I’m also a big believer in prevention and cure through natural and alternative methods. I struggled to overcome the belief that “modern medicine” was the only way to go. That’s what I was brought up with.

What has led me to so much desire for personal growth though is the belief deep deep inside me that I was and could be more, that I could be authentically me! That there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, and that I should be me. Why would I try to be anyone else?

Here’s where I really start getting personal. I grew up the youngest of 6 in an alcoholic dysfunctional home. There was physical and verbal abuse. I am not looking for sympathy. I know others have grown up in homes that were far worse, yet we all know that our experiences shape us, and are completely the be all and end all while we are living them (at the very least).  I also know that the experience was different for each one of my siblings and I.

I learned a lot of things in that atmosphere. I learned to hide. Hide who I was, hide physically and to escape mentally. I am only now at the age of 50 discovering some of what I hid from and what I hid about my authentic self – which sadly was a lot. Growing up in that kind of home created a lot of fear for me. The subconscious is the most powerful part of your brain and will protect you from things that it doesn’t think you can handle. For example I’ve only recently – within the last week, learned that something I’ve known about in small detail all my life was actually what turned my whole life upside down when I was not quite 5 years old. How’s that for a holy crap moment?? Lol

I think this is a good place to stop for now. I have been working for the last 6-8 years to discover, redo, undo, reprogram, learn, grow and move forward in my growth, life and mind, body, spirit wellness. I keep saying and 100% mean and believe that it is all worth it! As I bring more of my story forward to you I hope you will find it so and that you will be inspired to never stop growing, learning and moving forward. I am living happily in the present , excited about my future, and letting my past go, all at once. No wonder life seems hectic sometimes. 🙂

I’ll leave you with one of my fave quotes:

“Make a pledge to yourself right now, to declare that you are worth your time and energy.”

― Deborah Day